Just for a real hoot

The text below is the English translation of a Dutch email I sent to someone at the Administration office here in our harbour. I've left out the names for obvious reasons, but I felt I had to publish it. The translation was done through Google and is absolutely hysterical. I haven't laughed so much in weeks.

Hope you find it amusing too! The email it was in response to was already in English and mentioned that the Board of the Museum had not received enough information from Maryssa's restoration plan to determine whether she could get a place in the harbour. I should explain that the words fireplace and chimney that keep cropping up have to do with the Schouw Comissie, (real meaning = inspection committee) who are the people responsible for evaluating the ships coming into the harbour. However schouw does also mean fireplace and apparently chimney too, leading to these very strange and highly amusing suggestions that I had a rapport with my chimney.. Read on....!


My daughter, Maryssa, the email below from mnr XXX received. Rxxx I do not know who wrote this email or who is responsible but I find it surprising for the following reasons:

1. Maryssa has a very detailed restoration plan in September of service with answers to most of the questions below. Regarding the questions about "swords" and the cockpit has she sought advice from the Commission uses Schouw so these questions are very confusing.

2. When the fireplace chimney committee did, they had not seen any records of her ship and last week Martin had no hair restoration plan is to fish. How is that possible if Maryssa these documents has been in service in September? Mnr XXXXX in September confirmed that everything he "in good order" and has received documents that were "impressive". Why now, after more than two months, the fireplace committee not see everything? This is clear from the questions below. Still a very confusing time.

3. When my ship put into the Old Port, I had a real rapport with advice for my chimney restoration plan. I paid nothing. Maryssa has paid € 150 but she has no report received and chimney should seek advice from other people? I find this more confusing Rxxx and very unprofessional. She said in the original application that she is serious about the restoration of the ship with a reference year of 1932 but she has also said that she needed advice from the chimney committee. Why are they getting these questions but gets no opinion?

It was not my intention for me to Rxxx in this case, but I find it strange that after all her work and after almost three months, it is clear that no one proposal has Maryssa good read and that the chimney commission so little information had received (as before and after the chimney). Also report that they had no fireplace.

It seems to me that the handling of this matter your personal attention, Rxxx. If the Port Museum to be more professional and people have to pay € 150 for an application, they expect more than this kind of treatment. Maryssa deserves the same opportunities as other people but I hope that not all the other applicants have had this experience.

Sorry for my Dutch, Rxxx. Chose (what it made of Koos) is not here as a translator so I hope you can understand.

Best regards

Valerie