Happy howlers

So I've been busy marking exams this weekend, and as always happens, there have been some real howlers in the students' assignments. We teachers have compiled a list of the funniest, and I've cried with laughter over them. For this particular test, they had to write a cover letter for a job application and I just love to think of what employers would say if they saw these gems (imagined employers' reactions in brackets):

1. I have been interned in the US for three months last summer (right, now that's a recommendation!)

2. I gained my Bachelorette diploma from an international school (what's that? Some kind of cheer-leading certificate? Oh no! He meant Baccalaureate!)

3. I would like to waste my valuable time at your company (oh, you would, would you? Well, we're not going to waste ours by employing you!)

4. I think I have almost enough knowledge to work for your company. (Hmm, almost enough?)

5. I have experience behind bars…. (are you by any chance friends with number 1?)

6. If you employed me, I would make suggestive comments… (I think you'd better team up with number 5!)

7. I can help promote customer intimacy and provide personal interference… (now this is just going too far)

8. I am therefore sending you two pages of my CV so you can read about my details further (OnlyTWO pages? How long is it? and is this just to tease us? Where's the rest?)

As I said in my last post…kids! Don't you just love them??